Go and Do

I love walking through graveyards. Though this might sound strange or morbid, it brings me peace. It is a reminder that there is a time for everything. There is a season of life and  a season of death. Urging me to live. The cliché phrase that "life is short" never rings louder than when walking amidst the graves. Both children and grandparents that have gone  through this world would tell you that life passes you by in an instant. Reading headstones that have heartfelt messages or seeing souls that did not make it past a year give me chills and goose bumps. This is the reminder: Live life abundantly. Fill yourself with knowledge, explore the world, connect with people, love deeply, personify Christ, and feel. Feel the wind, shower in the rain, bathe in the sunlight, and wash in the ocean. Find your purpose early in life and show people your dreams. Go and Do because time is running out. Live Richly.

Trials

You try to be the best possible friend and you try to care for others constantly before yourself. You expect the same consideration from others but you don't always get it.  This year has been one of many trials. The hardest thing to hear from someone very close to me was this: "you never go out of your way to do anything nice for anyone." I have spent too many nights holding on to this sentence and wondering if it is really true. I know I'm not a terrible person but do I really only focus on myself and not others? I always thought I put others' feelings and needs before my own. This is why it hurt so bad when I was "stabbed in the back". I would never treat a close friend the way I was treated this year and it hurt to know the other person clearly didn't feel the same way about me. Even when "it"  happened I still thought "Your first priority is to be happy for them". I still feel that way and wouldn't want it to be any different. I know God has put these trials and certain people in my life to strengthen me. I only hope and pray that I come out the other side a better person. I want to let go of all the bitterness that has stored up and be free of my anger, sorrow, and tears.

Be a Light

Why do we put ourselves in these states of mind that drag us down to the depths of despair? Why do we constantly think about the bad things? Why do our minds pursue negatives thoughts about us and the world around us? Why can't I stop thinking about all that is dark, scary, lonely, and ugly? Why can't I, for just once, think about myself in a positive way? Why can't I dream about a happy ending? Why can't I be happy today? Maybe someday I will understand this black hole. I hope I will because that means that I will be in the light. Shining like a beacon of hope for others who are struggling. A light is what I want to become.

Collide

Just for once I want someone to really know me. My family knows me in a way that not many others do, but that isn't really all of me. They know what kind of food I like and dislike. They know that I love to read. They know those parts of me. My friends know me in a different way. They know that I am dazed and loopy without sleep. They know who I think is cute. They know those parts of me. There are very few people who collide into both "worlds". But the ones that do are the ones that will stay in your life for a very long time. They are the ones that you call up when you can barely speak because you're sobbing. They are the ones you text wacky pictures of yourself to. They are the ones you will never forget and never take for granted. They are your true best friends that become part of your family. Happy birthday to my best friend of 16 years! I love you Abigail <3

Disturbances

There is this owl outside my house. This sentence along with the title says it all. The entire night I lay in bed trying to get some sleep while this nocturnal creature stays up hooting nonstop. I can not take it any longer! The less sleep I get the more I want to throw some rocks into the tree. It starts early enough so that I'm not ready to sleep and won't stop until morning. Tonight it has just begun and my nightmare is a reality!

Quote Time!!!

Some of my favorite quotes! Enjoy :)

My Mountain

I finally thought I had gotten over this bump in the road. When I discover it's more like a mountain. There is no way to get across. It is full of wild animals getting ready to hunt you down. The forests are thick with vines and poisonous leaves. It would take too long to get to the other side. I would run out of essentials. The water on the mountain is filthy and would give me a disease. The food is not edible. I would die. But I will not, because I have a greater power with me. I am a child of the One Most High. I do not have to go alone. He will carry me if I get weary. My Lord and the God of all the nations will sustain me. He will give me a place of rest and He will protect me from the dangers in the sinister forests. God led me over the bump to prove to me I could trust in Him. Now He has led me to the mountain to test whether I will follow Him faithfully. He can take me blindfolded through the treacherous mountains and I will cling to Him. For He is my Rock, Sheild, and my Safe Haven.